Someone is Smoking Weed Outside My Window (as usual)

Stella is literally watching me write this blog.
I am laying in bed and she is sitting facing the netbook, watching the words appear on the screen and my fingers moving. As cute as this is, I can only see 5% of the screen and am praying these words are spelled correctly (thank binoculars for spell check).

I am pretty mad at myself for not staying updated. There are a few things that I would have liked to blog about, but haven't. My life feels so different and I don't know if it's good or bad.
I miss Jake like a crazy person. Every day I have this compelling feeling to not get off at the appropriate exit and to keep driving straight for another 6 hours. But I can't.

Work has been getting better. I'm starting to enjoy it and make friends. I just have hardly any free time and because I'm only a part time worker, I'm not getting a lot of money for what feels like a lot of hours. But I'm ok with that. I couldn't handle anymore.

Things I should have blogged about:
Over a month ago my roommates first put up a "boxing ring" in our back yard. Sarah and I boxed. I 'won,' but there were some uneven odds going on.

A week after that I visited Jake for his birthday. It was a glorious weekend. I miss the bay so much. After I visited, that's when the serious sad days started to kick in. It helped me realize the sooner I get my shit together, the sooner I can go back home. As much as I am enjoying my time here down south, it is not home. I don't feel like I'm at home. I don't know how I feel. I use to feel like I was just visiting, but now it just feels normal, but not in a normal way.

I haven't posted any vlogs to YouTube and feel like an idiot. I need to start a weekly thing to get myself rolling. If you are reading this from my channel, I'm sorry. I have been so busy and promise to make time. I wanted to do a giveaway since I have 100+ followers now! Thank you!

I am managing to get through the days knowing I'll see Jake for Turkey Day. But after that? I don't want to think about it. I can't go home for winter break, but am hoping Jake will come down here, especially because IV will be much calmer and the house will be mostly empty.

I miss my mom a lot, too. She sends me amazing care packages even though she can't always afford it. I really want to send her something nice, I just can't think of it yet. I really miss just going to lunch or tea with her whenever. I don't have many friends outside the house, but even if I did, I wouldn't be able to fill the mom emptiness.

For Halloween I was a manba girl. It was a lot of fun doing the makeup, but the actual weekend sucked. It's probably because I don't drink, but I don't think that's all of it. There was a crazy couple that literally brawled each other and kept coming back when we kicked them out. And Saturday just sucked. My Halloween weekend was a total bust, the whole time I just wished I was back in the bay. I was borderline miserable. I didn't complain to anyone about that but one early morning, when I was asked by either Jack or Richard how I was, I mentioned how I was homesick and how Halloween wasn't the same for me. For some reason, Sarah thought it was her fault and threw me a surprise tea party. It was lovely and I really enjoyed it. It's not her fault that I don't fit in here and I don't know why she feels it's her responsibility. I think even if I did drink, I would still be about the same because Jake is what I miss the most.

I feel like I have no purpose in my life right now. It just feels like being stuck in the school rut. I have 3 papers due next week, one Monday and two on Tuesday. I think I can finish them all tomorrow no problem, especially because I have work earlier than normal on the weekends. I hope I get hired on as a regular after the holidays. And continuing on that hope, maybe even transfer to the Michael's back home for the summer. That would be amazing.

I'm forcing myself to draw again. If I want to be a fashion person, I need to be able to at least draw my designs/outfits. I did a couple already and think they turned out alright. I have a scrap book but decided to make it my design portfolio instead as a way to keep myself positive.

The last thing I can think of is that there's a possibility that Jake might go to Japan without me. :C Even though I explained earlier how it was important to me that we both go at the same time for the first time, it didn't stick and his Oma offered to pay for his trip and said I wasn't allowed to go. It's not that she doesn't like me, she just wants him to get an experience of the outside world and that's where he wants to go. I wish he'd pick somewhere else because it is so important to me. It's one of the few things we have in common and he's always saying we don't have a lot, too. But whatever. He hasn't told me his final answer yet and I don't want to think about it anymore.


This holiday, I think I'm going to ask for shoes. I want so many Jeffrey Campbell's that I'm going to pick my favorite and ask for them. So far, the Damsil JC x BlackMilk Galaxy ones are winning. I will probably end up buying myself a pair of spiked Litas in the next couple weeks, probably with the next pay check. I want Lolita, too, but just am too down to ever want to wear it. The longer I am here, the less I want to get dressed up. It's weird.


I think that's enough ranting for now. Good Night, World.

Lolita in Goleta #1

So first things first, Goleta is pronounced go-leet-uh. Now the total sounds way cooler.

Today was the first day I wore lolita here in SB/Goleta (Goleta is about 10 miles north of SB). I only went half lolie (see image below) today. The main reasons for that are 1.) It's warm out and 2.) I didn't want to freak out the house mates.

I did a lot today; went to SBCC (unsuccessful), Albersons, Von's, Costco, Home Depot, Ross (got new running tennies) and a smoke shop (for JD). The cashier at Albersons said he liked my outfit and would have given me a piece of candy if he had any but have us the store discount instead since neither of us have Albersons cards.

Side note: Stella is so fucking hyper and rambunctious right now it's driving me bonkers.

I also started the 30 Day/300 challenge to start shaping my abs. I feel a bit site and jogging for 10 minutes didn't help. But I need to get some athleticism back. I didn't appreciate how fit I was when I played basketball because I thought that was just normal for me since I played for 8 years solid. But now that I can't even run a fucking block, I feel so pathetic. Jake started rising his bike, too. It's nice we are both taking care of ourselves. I decided to make walking/jogging/running my drinking. If I feel like I really 'want' to drink, I will go on a walk/jog/run instead. Healthier for my body and relationship. :)

Played more (sober) beer pong. Won both games I played (I think). I'm starting to understand why people enjoy it do much. I have an advantage because I stay sober the whole time, but I suck so it balances out. After that we played Blur and then L4D2. I didn't really feel like it though since A was sufficiently drunk and easy mode was difficult (manages to finish the ending on my own, though). We watched Dazed and Confused. It was a good 70's movie. Lots of actors that later become famous.

My Jeffrey Campbell shoes should arrive in the next two days. I'm so excited! I've wanted them for a while and feel it was a good purchase. :)

That's all for today. I miss my YouTube channel. :( Need to vlog soon.

Also miss Jake like crazy. A played Less than Jake in the car and it stung (he didn't know).

Stella is all tuckered out now and so am I.

Night.
XoxoX

Lolita Day :)

This is the first official dress I ever got. So it holds a special place in my lacy heart. <3

Happy Easter :)

This is what I'm wearing.
I am IN LOVE with this dress.
It's by Angelic Pretty and is called the Colorful Hearts One Piece. Not sure when it was released, but at least a year or two ago. :)

My Hurrr

So I dyed my hair pink. c:

It was for the night before (adding blog for that next). My mom and her side of the family are members at the de Young Museum and we saw the Jean Paul Gaultier exhibit!

So next day before I washed my hair, I wanted to see how it looked with my Alice and the Pirates Queen's Coach dress. the pink was very close. I can't wait to use good dye on my hair so it will stay!

I am not a fan of Manic Panic and now that I've tried it, I can honestly say I would not recommend it. It just didn't work for me. The color hardly took and did not last at all. granted it was a lighter color, but still. I've worked with pink hair dye and have had way better results. But each to their own. :)

Can't wait until Friday! Going to the city for some well needed Summer Lolita shopping! Yay! <3

I haven't worn lolita in so long, it makes me sad. :c I hope I get the part time sbux job at the corp store. Sure, less money, but I need that free time! Working 32+ hours a week is killer! But the money sure is nice... 

So This Was Marin's Idea

To do a 'things I love' post. "Instant happiness" she says.

Things I Love:
Marin
Jake
Stella
My Phone
Nomca (car)
Sarah
Family
Starbucks Drinks
Lolita!!!!!!!
Not being broke
Skyrim
My PS3
My banana sticker on my PS3
The xBox and conroller Jake gave me (lime green!)
Food
Crafts
Sewing
Helping People
Making people laugh
tumblr
Pinterest
Lolita (book)
Fashion in general
Making meals, but only if it's for someone else
Surprises; giving and getting ones
Laughing
Some of my memories
More Starbucks
Music
Dancing
Day Dreaming
Sewing Machine
The smell of rain on concrete
The smell of Jake's clothing
Non-natural colors in my hair
Adventures
Dragonball/Z
Reading
Manga
Drawing
Photography
Hot summer nights
Toburt
Honey Kat
Okipuss
Shopping
San Francisco
When my boyfriend comes back after an argument <3
Marucci's
Chipotle
BBQ Bacon Burgers
Salt and Vinigar Kettle Chips
Coupons
My job (mostly making drinks. and then drinking them)
The anticipation of shopping for new Lolita
Singing
Singing in my car, alone but with the window's down so others have to suffer, too.
Rain
The Sims
Interior design
More food
Google
Youtube
Ranting
Thrifting
Halloween
Candy
Kisses
Tattoos
Piercings
My internet name; twunks
Marin's cooking/baking
Bread
Cheese
Costco
Rings
Jewelry
Craigslist's Free section
Having an excuse to get dressed up
Shoes
Being apart of the 'inside' jokes

And myself, just a bit.